List of Tony Clams Facts

Despite centuries of scholars attempting to record a comprehensive list of what is known to be true about Tony Clams, none have been successful. Below are just a few facts about Tony Clams that have been researched, peer reviewed, and deemed to be, beyond a reasonable doubt, tried-and-true fact.


 * Tony Clams was the 13th angry man.
 * The 2004 animated film "Lion King 1½" is loosely based on his life.
 * Tony Clams did not learn to blink until yesterday from whenever you are reading this sentence.
 * The Baltimore Ravens are loosely based on his life.
 * Tony Clams cannot tell more than three lies a day without coughing up blood.
 * Tony Clams once met Jared Leto backstage at a Thirty Seconds to Mars concert.
 * The concept of time has been traced back to an elementary school art assignment Clams' made will tripping on LSD.
 * Can dunk.
 * Tony Clams went back in time to kill Hitler Two; Hitler's identical cousin. You've never heard about him because Clams' killed him.
 * Tony Clams found the beef.
 * The Clams Estate sued Wilson Sporting Goods because of the damage one of their footballs did to Tony Clams' nose right before the prom.
 * Tony Clams could not, would not, eat green eggs and ham in either a box or in the company of a fox.
 * When Tony Clams falls onto his back, he can't get back up on his own.
 * Was born with a third nipple but died with a fourth.
 * If you rearrange all of the Letters in 'Tony Clams' name, you get, 'Ingest Asbestos Now."
 * Is an okay golfer.
 * Was first in his pack to attend University.
 * The doctor is actually called Frankenstein, the monster is called Tony Clams.
 * The book "Raisin in the Sun" by Lorraine Hansberry was based on Tony Clams' favorite snack to eat while tanning.